Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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