Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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