we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
