thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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