She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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