I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
