4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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