Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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