In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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