ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
