just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
