i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
