is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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