Don't you send me to vm
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she smelled like a LAN party
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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