He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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