It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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