Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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