How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
