And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize