im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
