Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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