ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
