Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
