Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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