I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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