She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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