a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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