i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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