Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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