it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
