and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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