thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Who died my cat blue again?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
