Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize