I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
