My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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