Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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