my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
