the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize