it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
