Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
