hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
