mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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