So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
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...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
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fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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