Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
