get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
