Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
