Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
