so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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