So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
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The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
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I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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