google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
