She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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