That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
