Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
