Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
